Peeing Pilgrims and Sea Stars

Karin peed. A Lot! It seemed we were always stumbling upon her in the act;  behind a tree, near a 13th century abandoned pilgrims albergue, in tall grass, and once when talking with her, we turned to discover just her backpack thrown on the side of the road as she had dissipated into the forest. Ameya joked that she had a bladder the side of a grape. But Karin is German and Germans have a different perspective when it comes to things of the body and basic nudity. She told us a story from when she was younger and visiting the USA. She had been hiking and returned to the campground where there was an outside shower. “I took my clothes off, because that’s what you do when you shower.” People began to stare in horror at the showering naked young woman; families, moms, dads, children, dogs... maybe even bears. “I did not know that in America, you shower in your swim suit!” she said in her defense.  

Karin wanted a baby. She had left her job and set out to explore the world in order to find peace with the fact that she and her husband had not yet had a child. She traveled to Peru, she attended meditation, she worked at an orphanage in Thailand and she was walking her Camino, all after the heartbreak of two miscarriages. Karin should have a baby, but life does not always follow our plans, and as she scrolled through her phone, showing me pictures of her smiling face alongside her laughing little Thai charges, I couldn’t help but wonder if perhaps, there is a little one somewhere already waiting for her love. 

I, on the other hand, am ambivalent about having children. While I am convinced that my husband wants a child, he and I had not yet learned how to be partners, which was a big factor for us choosing to walk the Camino. We did not know how to love and respect each other without waiting for the other to change. I wanted him to be more capable and hands-on and he wanted me to fulfill a traditional supporting role. We weren’t even sure that we could stay together without losing ourselves.  And so, there was no room for thoughts of children when our very identities were being torn down. But time passes and eventually there will be no time left to choose. Perhaps I will not be a mother. That possibility does not terrify me.

But to look at the bright side, my genetic makeup is really no great prize to be gifted to the next generation anyway; Diabetes, rampant heart disease, cancer, mental health issues, addictive personalities, below average height, fierce hatred for maths... how could I curse a child so??  (As I write this, please know that fostering and adoption are very real possibilities..)

Children have a different place in society in Spain than in the US. Perhaps if faced with parenting in Spain, I would not be so hesitant. I longingly watched families walking the camino together; fathers with calloused hands lifting tiny backpacks onto small shoulders as mothers dispensed encouragement. I envied. In the non pilgrim world of Spain, children run in the town squares shrieking as everyone in the area observes and watches out for danger. Kids kick soccer balls against walls of ancient churches, play tag in restaurants, have unstructured play, and are reprimanded by strangers when out of line.  They eat the same food as adults, are welcome in bars and are an accepted presence generally everywhere anytime. However, according to Jose, the Spanish primary teacher that I had talked with a week before, Spanish kids are learning bad habits from their western counterparts. Obesity rates are rising, playgrounds are resting dormant in favor of technology and parents are beginning to over schedule their children. Ah, progress..

The morning after our pulpo apocalypse, we had a slow café in the bar attached to our hotel before wandering uphill out of Fonsagrada. Since the albergues shoved pilgrims on their way by 8am at the absolute latest, we were always slightly behind. But as became a pattern, we always managed to find a rhythm along with our way to Karin, Paul, Dimitri, Jette and Cristina and occasionally, Jan. We spent our day meeting up, passing ahead, and falling behind before eventually walking as a chatty group. 

Early in the day, our path took us up a mountain topped by windmills and the Hospital de Montouto, a collection of crumbling buildings from the 13th century meant to house pilgrims on their way to Santiago. Hospital de Montouto was founded in 1360, during the time of the plague, by Pedro I who is remembered as either “El Cruel” or “El Justiciero” (The Lawful) depending on if one were to side with the  English and Jewry or the French and Pedro’s half brother Henry, who eventually stuck a knife into Pedro’s chest. (multiple times if historical accounts are to be true..their family had serious issues!!) Thankfully, unlike the plague or the hundred year war, the pilgrim’s hospital continued to function into the start of the 20th century. We climbed over stone walls to make our way into the open hilltop meadow. We laid our hands on the ruins of ageless rocks, touching history.  

Karin may have peed there. 

“It is busy all at once and then it’s just me, a cat and a dog” Our path led us down the mountain and directly to the picnic tables of a tiny bar full of joy and love, manned by one.  ...and his dog and cat. Paul nearly fainted with joy when the smiling Argentinian bar owner placed a tiny pot of hot water and a teabag before him. 

Twelve kilometers later (300 miles) we were surprised to find ourselves already at our destination of Cádavo Baleira as comparative discussions of politics, immigration, renewable energy and other such things had caused the kilometers to fly by. We checked into our tiny hotel with Karin taking a single room for 25 euros as all the albergues were full for ten kilometers in either direction. We showered, washed clothes in the sink, walked the entirety of the little livestock town which took about ten minutes and sat outside enjoying cold beers with Jette and Cristina, before heading back to the hotel restaurant for dinner. 

Dinner was a loud and long process of conversation, cultural confusion and laughter and our group grew by two as Christophe, a high level corporate auditor from France and his wide-eyed, innocent son, Marron joined our table. The next day, we knew we were to arrive in Lugo where we would be saying goodbye to our favorite Russian.  Due to his vacation time limitations, Dimitri would be taking a train to Santiago before beginning his journey home to Kaliningrade. So, throughout our meal, the wine flowed and we raised our glasses in Dimitri’s honor. “To the happiest Russian we know! Salut!” Our glasses clinked and were emptied with smiles while Dimitri told the well known and loved story of a boy tossing stranded starfish into the sea, a boy who could not possibly save all the starfish but could change the life of at least one. We listened as Dimitri worked his way through the telling, making the story his own, since in his endearing version of English, the ‘starfish’ became ‘sea stars.’ 

    

Pulpo Paul

Pilgrims live in a different time zone, waking long before the sun has even given thought to rising, leaving small villages behind in the wee hours of the morning, walking sticks clicking mournfully against the cobbled darkened streets. Then there are other pilgrims... 

My husband and I sat unhurried, the morning of the feast day of Saint James in a quiet café as Grandas de Salime emptied itself of it’s transient pilgrim population. Footage of Santiago flashed across the flickering TV screen behind the bar while the barkeep wiped tables and positioned coffee cups for the incoming locals arriving for a chat. As we sipped our tiny cups of roasted perfection, Karin peeked her head in. 

“Oh, I thought I was the last!” 
We smiled our frothy milk moustache smiles, “Pfft.. We’ll leave eventually..” 

Hours later found me lying on my back on the top of a mountain at the edge of Asturias, my 400lb camera balanced on my face, the lens aiming heavenward as the arms of a windmill wooshed past directly above. The sun played peek-a-boo, creating spots against the vast blue sky framed through my view finder.  We would certainly not reach town in time to get beds in an albergue, but then, my husband.. otherwise known as the snoring machine from hell, preferred private rooms anyway and was more than happy to sabotage our chances of sleeping with others who may angrily suffocate him in the night. (I may still, one day...)

We came down from the mountain, crossing into Galicia where the stew changed names, the grain barns changed from square to rectangular and the scallop shells that we had been following, switched direction, now pointing the way with the tip instead of the base. (a vital bit of information..) We paused for lunch at an isolated old man bar, the bathroom lacking running water, and we sat outside, making sandwiches of tomatoes and tuna while chatting with the two Danish women, Jette and Cristina, one a nurse in love with hiking and the other, a teacher enamored with Salsa and the Tango.  Though both fiercely strong as indicated by their gorgeously toned legs, they felt no need to race into town as they had booked rooms ahead for their entire adventure.    

Fonsagrada was at the top of a mountain. Every town was at the top of a F@*$ing mountain, yet magically, pilgrims still had to climb their way out of each town the next morning!!  Ah... the Camino... 

Fonsagrada, literally translated as “sacred fountain,” boasted a fountain blessed by Saint James which changed water to milk.  We never actually found the fountain, however we did find a beautiful evening pilgrims mass in a lovely little church in the town center. Fonsagrada also plays host to the "Feria de septiembre," one of the largest traditional livestock festivals in the province and the "Feria del emigrantes," a celebration of those who moved away but come home for holidays.  We had arrived earlier to our little hilltop room that Paul had booked ahead for us. We quickly showered and washed our clothes in the sink, before heading out to take in the little town (In reference to washing clothes, my use of ‘we,’ actually means ‘I’..)

We were constantly misjudging people. Maybe it was because we were slightly introverted, maybe it was because we didn’t have European social skills, or maybe it was because we are just assholes. Either way, my husband and I were constantly readjusting our incorrect, misguided views of our fellow pilgrims. 

Jan tops six feet easily, he has a closely shaved head and a well-lived lined face giving away his Dutch heritage. His skin is bronzed a dark gold and his eyes tell countless stories. As a person of barely adult height, I was intimidated. So I judged, and I stayed away. However in the bright late afternoon mountain top sun, with a sweaty cold cerveza con limon in my hand, Karin and Ameya on either side of me and Jan across the table, I changed my mind. 

A soft- spoken man belying his tall stature, Jan grew up on the Dutch Caribbean island of Curaçao and though his parents had since returned to the Netherlands, though Jan had spent time in the fast paced high level world of profit and gain, he had had enough. He left it all, spent years traveling the world on foot and by bicycle, navigating countries and conflicts that most could only imagine, before returning to Curaçao to teach math in a public school. I admired him. Jan also had the ability to give those in his company, the gift of calm and appreciation for the moment they were in. He gave anyone he was talking with the feeling that they were the center of the universe and as a result, we all sought his company. He could sleep in fields and on cold floors, he could climb into windows and eat nearly anything, he could speak countless languages and manage any situation with grace, yet he did all things with a humble gentleness.  My, how I misjudged. 

As the church bells rang, we lifted ourselves from our chairs and headed the one block to the tiny town church. We filed in quietly, mere moments late and relaxed into our pews as the flowing spanish of the priest echoed through the church. At the end, we all stepped forward, the priest leading us through a pilgrims prayer and blessing. “Read this each morning,”  he advised, handing us each, copies of the prayer. 

We judged Judith harshly as well, as she wandered into town late each day, looking fresh and smiling while picking up her waiting backpack at the hotel where it had been transported ahead. We later learned that she walked her camino according to her own limitations and as we kept discovering, we were assholes to judge. 

Judith is not from Spain, she is from Catalonia, Barcelona, specifically and Judith has very clear ideas of how things should be. She has no doubts. We stood outside the church, starving as dinnertime approached and Judith, who always asked locals where the best restaurant was, knew exactly where to go. She led us across town, a mother with her hapless ducklings, to the local Pulperia (which doesn't mean paper mill..) much to Paul’s horror. 

Pulpo a la gallega is a traditional Galician dish of octopus prepared with paprika, a holdover from  a time before freezers when the spice paprika acted as a preservative. While the less brave at our table ordered the typical menu of the day, Judith ordered a giant round wooden plate of pulpo. A couple of other slightly courageous souls ordered smaller tapas or tastings of pulpo.  Judith’s heaping mountain of shiny octopus tentacles arrived alongside, our much more conservative tastings. Paul looked down in consternation, “Oh, God! They really don’t disguise it, do they? It really is just..”

“You should have gotten the full order, It’s the best in the region!!” Judith said while squishing tentacles between her teeth. 

“What’s the point of having the best of a horrible thing??” Paul said, his face turning a sickly shade.  But, a man bravely determined to try any regional delicacy, Paul dipped his spoon into the tiny cup; green mashed peas layered beneath mashed potatoes topped by shiny red-tinted pulpo pieces.  He raised the spoon shakily to his mouth and...

Well, though our dinner stretched out for hours, let it suffice to say that Paul did not die..