My heart beat accelerated until I could feel the pulsing in my ears, my fingers had begun to tingle. "I don't have to get on this plane. Why am I getting on this plane??" As I walked to my gate and boarded my flight, I alternated between talking myself off of the plane or talking myself off of the proverbial panic attack ledge. Flying has always been a struggle, but ultimately, the lure of a new destination proves greater than the sum of my fears. I stowed my luggage and sat down with shallow breaths and sweaty palms. I closed my eyes and sighed deeply.
"Have you flown before?" Guileless blue eyes that belonged on a precious moments figurine looked back at me from the seat to my right, "Because I haven't flown before and it's a little scary."
Jesse's parents had driven six hours from Iowa that morning and dropped him at O'Hare before immediately turning the car back toward the safety of home. However fifteen year old Jesse was ready to see the world and had a month in Burgos with a foreign exchange classmate to look forward to. We chatted through the safety demonstration while he caste apprehensive glances towards the life jackets and he told me of his plans while reaching up to check where the oxygen masks would fall from.
"The plane will make a lot of noises that you think it shouldn't, but it is supposed to make those noises," I said reassuringly, my heartbeat having already forgotten its own moment of panic. Jesse laughed nervously and looked around himself with an equal mixture of fear and fascination.
"We've already been moving??" he exclaimed, "I didn't even notice"
Jesse buckled his seatbelt frantically as the plane taxied to it's runway. And as the plane accelerated and shot into the heavens, I was privileged to witness fears melt away into the innocence and joy at seeing the clouds from above for the first time.
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